Addiction affects not just those with the disorder, but also their families and others who are part of their lives. Involving family members in the addiction treatment process is beneficial for both the family and the person in recovery.
Encouragement, understanding, and a supportive environment can help foster positive change. Not only that, family involvement is linked with increased rates of entry into treatment, reduction of addiction treatment barriers like lack of finances and untreated trauma, decreased dropout rates during treatment, and better long-term outcomes, according to SAMHSA.
Here are ways in which family members and loved ones can be involved in the addiction treatment process and help with recovery:
1. Seek Education
Learn about addiction and its effects on both the individual and the family. Understanding the nature of addiction helps reduce stigma and provides insight into the challenges the person in recovery is facing.
Understanding Addiction as a Disease: Many people view addiction as a moral failure or a lack of willpower. Education helps families see addiction as a chronic disease, which reduces stigma and judgment. This shift in understanding allows family members to approach their loved one with empathy, rather than frustration or anger.
Recognizing Triggers and Behaviors: When family members are educated about the signs of addiction and potential relapse triggers, they can help create a safer environment for their loved one. This might involve avoiding certain behaviors or conversations that could trigger a relapse, helping the person manage stress, or recognizing early warning signs that their loved one might be struggling.
Learning Effective Communication Skills: Effective communication can help resolve conflicts and misunderstandings, reducing stress for both the person in recovery and their family members.
Encouraging Healthy Boundaries: Education teaches families the difference between supporting recovery and enabling harmful behaviors.
2. Participate in Family Therapy
At Care Addiction, our addiction treatment program offers family therapy as part of the treatment process. Family therapy can help improve communication, address family dynamics, and provide a supportive environment for both the individual in recovery and their loved ones.
Families often hope for immediate results, but recovery is a long and challenging journey. Therapy sessions can help address unresolved conflicts, communication breakdowns, and trust issues that might have arisen during the addiction.
Family therapy can also help loved ones learn about the realities of addiction and recovery helps set realistic expectations, so you're not discouraged by setbacks or relapses. It can also help deal with emotional roller coasters like anger, guilt, fear and sadness. Manage these emotions is crucial for family members to stay grounded and avoid overwhelming their loved one with their own emotional reactions.
3. Make Clear Boundaries
Setting clear boundaries and sticking to them is extremely important. Sticking to the boundaries can be hard - it’s easier to give someone a second chance, or third, or just one more. But it’s crucial to take the hard path and stick to boundaries, or you step into the role of enabling an addiction that can harm the recovery process.
Letting the recovering person know what behaviors are acceptable and what will not be tolerated can help maintain a healthy relationship. Here are three examples of clear boundaries:
No Substance Use at Home: Clearly state that drugs or alcohol are not allowed in the house. This boundary helps create a safe, substance-free environment that supports recovery. For example, "I want to support your recovery, so we cannot have any drugs or alcohol in the home."
Respecting Personal Time and Space: While being supportive, it’s important to establish that your time and energy have limits. For instance, "I’m here to help, but I need time for myself as well. I will be available to talk, but not late at night or during work hours."
Accountability for Actions: Make it clear that certain behaviors, such as lying or missing meetings, have consequences. For example, "If you miss your recovery meetings, I won’t be able to continue offering financial support." This sets expectations while encouraging accountability.
4. Offer Support and Encouragement
Offer emotional support and encouragement to the person in recovery. Let them know that you believe in their ability to change and that you are there for them throughout the process. Be careful though, there is a fine line between helping and supporting someone - and enabling them.
Recovery is a long-term process, and family involvement doesn’t stop when treatment ends. Ongoing family support can help prevent relapse and sustain recovery over time.
5. Stop Enabling
What is the difference between supporting someone and enabling their addiction? It can be difficult to see because even when your intention is to help, it can have the opposite effect of enabling bad behavior. The difference is this:
Supporting is assisting with things they are incapable of doing for themselves.
Enabling is keeping someone from dealing with the negative consequences of their actions.
An example of enabling can be giving someone a place to live, paying for a cell phone, or paying for a car. Allowing yourself to believe someone to be incapable of paying for a cell phone, for example, simply because they spent all of their money on an addiction is not supporting them - it is allowing them to be codependent on you.
6. Improve Communication
Addiction often leads to broken communication, misunderstandings, and conflict. Learning how to communicate more effectively—listening without judgment, offering support without enabling, and expressing concerns in a constructive way can strengthen family relationships and build a supportive environment for recovery.
Here are a few basics:
Practice Active Listening: Listening without interrupting or offering immediate solutions helps the recovering individual feel heard and understood.
Use "I" Statements: When discussing concerns or feelings, it’s important to use "I" statements, such as "I feel worried when you miss your meetings." This approach avoids sounding accusatory, which can lead to defensiveness.
Stay Calm and Patient: Maintaining a calm demeanor and being patient, even during difficult conversations, helps prevent escalation and creates a supportive atmosphere.
Avoid Judgment or Criticism: Criticizing or blaming the individual can discourage open communication. Instead, family members should focus on offering encouragement and support, acknowledging their loved one’s efforts in recovery without dwelling on past mistakes.
Set Clear Boundaries and Expectations: While being supportive, it’s also important to clearly communicate boundaries to avoid enabling behavior.
Offer Encouragement and Validation: Positive reinforcement is essential. Family members can show support by recognizing progress, offering encouragement, and validating the challenges their loved one faces in recovery.
7. Get a Support System for You
What many people do not understand is the family of the addicted person suffers from the addiction, too. Find a counselor or therapist who specializes in addiction counseling and get help. Loved ones of addicts need support, too. The goal is to bring clarity to relationships and to foster repair and closeness if family members choose.
It’s also important for family members to prioritize their own self-care and well-being. Addiction can be emotionally draining for everyone surrounding the addicted person,, and taking care of oneself is crucial for providing effective support.
8. Attend Support Groups
Participate in family counseling and support groups like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon, which are designed to help those who have a loved one with addiction. These groups offer a safe space to share experiences and learn from others.
Family members can also:
Keep a non-judgmental attitude - blaming or shaming the person in recovery can be counterproductive.
Help keep your family member or loved one on track with medications and doctor visits.
Remain committed to a drug and alcohol-free home environment.
Help your family member or loved one stay away from people, places or situations that have triggered past addictive behavior.
Encourage your family member or loved one to commit long-term to regular counseling, and/or attendance at a 12-step program or other support program.
Participate in healthy lifestyle changes and explore drug and alcohol-free activities as a family.
Be open to developing new social connections with those who abstain from alcohol and drugs.
Addiction treatment can be a long and challenging journey, and family support can make a significant difference in the individual's chances of successful recovery. If you're unsure about how to best support your loved one in recovery, consider seeking guidance from addiction professionals or therapists who specialize in addiction and family dynamics.
Getting Help For Addiction
While addiction recovery can be challenging, it is achievable with the right resources and support. If you or somebody in your life seems to have an issue with alcohol or suffering from addiction, professional help may be the best option for recovery.
At Care Addiction Center, we offer treatment plans that address every facet of your addiction, serving individuals in Geneva, Batavia, Sycamore, St. Charles, and Kane County, with online addiction treatment available anywhere in Illinois.
To get started on the road to recovery, or if you have questions about helping yourself or a loved one, call us today or schedule a confidential assessment online and begin treatment.